Guilty Conscience Cure!

by The Maze

You…! Yes YOU!!

It has been a seriously long time since I wrote here, and I’ve been terrible with my own blog. I feel so stupid about the time I’ve wasted and the ideas I never wrote and made into articles. Why would anyone allow such breakdown of judgement and ability? It’s so stupid! I’M stupid! Seriously though, who in their right mind just squanders opportunities to expose their written voice to a world that’s just waiting to hear their opinion? WHO?
I’ll tell you who: Me!

Yes… Me! Foolish not-really-old me! Why oh WHY have I been like this? It’s just that, distractions can get so heavy. Life can get heavy. And I’m putting on weight.. So I’M heavy! It just never ends! I didn’t ask for this! So much demanding my attention and taking me away from my writing. It’s not fair.

I never decided that the heat could be turned up, that pressure could mount, that people could pester me for everything… I just can’t help it. Everything being put on my plate. MY plate??! Why me? Why does everyone think I can fix their problems? Why don’t their solve their own?

I’m not Superman! Don’t they see it? Yeah sure, I can figure out their issues, but I don’t have a cape or anything.
Yes I have a long coat somewhere, but it has sleeves so they can’t be fooled into thinking it was a cape. It’s not even red!

Definitely, I have perspective that they don’t have because I’m an objective third-party, but I don’t come from Krypton or anything. Yes Zimbabwe, and South Africa are in Africa and that sounds alien enough to some people, and it does have lots of green in it due to leaves and trees…heck even grass…but its not like its the same green of kryptonite.

Kryptonite

I’m not allergic to African rocks like Superman is allergic to rocks from his home planet! What would I call them anyways? AFRONITE???

Afronite!!!

Of course, I can foresee certain outcomes because I have great analytical skills and know how to combine the randomness of personalities with the certainties of situations…but I don’t have heat vision that can melt most objects, or even x-ray vision to see through buildings and clothes (except for lead underwear! You’d be shocked how much is out there).

Oh no… I shouldn’t have seen that.. I should NEVER have seen that!

Absolutely I can figure things out at blistering speeds..but I can’t outrun a bullet, or even a vastly slower train!
Can you not see that my inability to outrun a train which is far slower than a bullet, just proves even more I’m NOT Superman?? Maybe if you meant “run out a train”, yes I can run outside a train thankfully…but not outrun it!

This is not happening again.. Not AGAIN!!! I think.. I Can.. I think… I CAN..!!! I Think… I … CRAMP!!!

See??!! I’m not Superman! I just wish I had somewhere I could put all this down for the world to see. Somewhere I can write with other writers and share our troubles, thoughts and tantrums. I’m sure it would take Superman to find it on the net somewhere…on WordPress maybe…but it must be Dark, cos heroes gather in the dark..! (That last bit sounded significant)

If only I were Superman to find such a…

Wait a minute…

I AM Superman!!!!! They were right all along!

And THAT ladies and gentlemen, is how to cure a guilty conscience!

(Overdose may lead to drowsiness of humility. Not to be taken with any arrogance, or may cause swelling of the head!)

Over…dose!

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8 Comments to “Guilty Conscience Cure!”

  1. Lol, Hilarious Maze… Welcome Back

    DJ-

  2. Nice to hear from you again.

    Tim

  3. Welcome back playa, I edited your post and took the caption out of your photo at the top and placed it just underneath the photo so it looked right on the main page, for some reason the whole image stretched across the whole page =/ Stupid WP.

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