Embarking Upon A New Life

by The Maze

I was told recently that i spend too much time thinking. And as I thought about that I realised that it might actually be true!

So I made a conscious decision that I wouldn’t think too much about life, and what it has in store, and where I could end up, and who I’m gonna marry, and what my kids could look like, what job I might have, where I’ll live, the size of my house, whether my mom’s gonna visit a lot, when the economy will turn right, how on earth did I get this cupcake to look so strange, oh wait that’s because I left it in my bag too long, wondering whether anybody thought I baked that cupcake at first, what time will I sleep usually, will I finish writing my novel before I’m forty, am I smart enough, am I fit enough, do I really exist or is this a dream……..and other such thoughts.

My new life is going to be about thinking as little as possible! No matter what I’m doing! Whether it be what I write, or if I’m driving…my thoughts are going on a strict diet!

Of course that doesn’t mean NOT thinking at all. I’ll definitely be trying thinking about how to apply some kind of shortcut to how I approach my thoughts. It will be like an option tree maybe.

Instead of thinking: “I’m hungry… What food is available… I’ll have a slice of bread… Did I buy sliced bread or not?… Hmmm… Better go and find out… CRAP! No bread!”…

I would just use this: “I’m hungry… What food is available.. I’ll have a slice of bread… Get a knife first in case you need to slice bread yourself… CRAP! No bread! Use knife to kill yourself instead of dying from hunger and inexplicable lack of bread, sliced or otherwise, when you can perfectly afford to buy it… You don’t deserve to live! Why didn’t my parents show me the meaning of life as it pertains to sliced bread?… I hate the colour green! Goodbye cruel world!… Oh wait I have cereal!”

See?? See how I did that?? You see how I took the knife FIRST if I needed to slice the bread myself?? That was absolute genius…

I believe this new life choice of thinking less will be incredible! It’s already bearing fruit…in the form of sliced strawberry in my cereal..

See!!?? Sliced!!!

Geez I should write a book!

And why the hell is “Otto Frederick Rohwedder” a recommended tag???

(After Googling)… Oh!! WordPress is clearly guilty of thinking too much on this one! Seriously, the guy who invented the first bread-slicing machine? Calm down WordPress!

Is “Googling” a word? It sounds like something a pervert does.

Me? Of course this isn’t me!

Over.

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5 Comments to “Embarking Upon A New Life”

  1. I love thinking – it’s a welcome addiction. Don’t give it up, it makes the world go around. Where would we be without thinkers? Certainly wouldn’t be considering whether ‘Googling’ is a pervasion – if it is I am a happy pervert!

    Anna :o]

  2. I tend to do all of my thinking while sat on the toilet and no where else.

    So if anyone asks me what I think about something, I have to quickly swallow a load of bran flakes to get the poetry in motion.

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