Archive for November, 2011

November 26, 2011

A Little Slice of Life – Piranhas in the Pantry

by Patrick Dykie

     My wife works long hours as a nurse in a hospital, and I’ve learned to chip in with chores around the house. One of my jobs is to do all the grocery shopping, clip coupons, look for specials at the supermarket, keep the refrigerator full of an assortment of meats, cheeses and fruits, and provide a pantry stocked with dry goods and essentials. Until I did it for the first time I hadn’t realized what a tough job it really is.

     To all you women who do the family shopping along with cooking, cleaning, endless loads of laundry, raising children, and many times working a full-time job; I salute you. No wonder my wife is always so tired. I pride myself on being a very meticulous and organized person. In my quest to provide a balanced and healthy, but also economical diet for our family, I have done my best to plan for any eventuality. It seems that in my fervor for shopping perfection, I may have overlooked one small problem. It appears I have piranhas in my pantry. You may call them teenage boys.

  

      Well, maybe they’re not actually piranhas, but sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. If you were to ask me the difference between a school of ravenous, meat-eating piranhas, and a group of hungry teenage boys, I would say the only difference is that piranhas will clean their rooms if you ask them to. 

     My teenage son will often have friends over, and my wife will inevitably tell them to make themselves at home. I would like to visit some of these homes to see if they all have empty refrigerators, barren shelves, drained containers of juice and milk, and garbage cans full of empty bags, cartons and boxes. Make yourself at home? Do these teenagers call the “Old Country Buffet,” home?

     After the teenagers have left my wife will smile and say, “Honey, they’re just growing boys.” As I view the empty shelves and furiously scribble down items to replenish as I plan an emergency shopping trip, I think to myself,

“Growing boys? I thought they were bamboo or something. They give new meaning to the phrase, growing like a weed. If they grow any more, I’ll be broke, and their heads will be poking through the roof.” 

 

     I have learned a few things about the hearty appetites of teenage boys. You may think that when teenage boys are on the hunt for life-sustaining nourishment, that like piranhas, they will indiscriminately feed on the nearest, and most convenient food. If you were to take a high-speed camera and slow it down, you would see something different.

     Teenage boys are actually quite selective. I call it the “$5.99 rule.” The rule in its simplest terms is this. Teenage boys will search for, grab and ingest the most expensive items first. That $3.99 per pound bologna is safe for the moment, as is the bargain brand apple juice, and anything green, including lettuce. The first foods in the refrigerator to go are the gallon of pure Tropicana orange juice, the delicious Italian roast beef, the large chunk of Muenster cheese, the Ben and Jerry’s cookies and cream ice cream, and the last two slices of Sicilian piazza with the extra mushrooms that you hid way in the back behind the skim milk, and the low-fat pineapple yogurt. Teenage boys also love hard-boiled eggs, red delicious apples, and fruit on the bottom, blueberry yogurt. 

     The pantry is then emptied of Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies, soft and fluffy, white Wonder bread, Ritz crackers, and the last box of blueberry Pop Tarts. 

 

      I think I found another difference between piranhas and hungry teenage boys. The piranhas will at least leave the bones! My son and his friends just headed out to McDonald’s for a snack, and I’m left with the job of refilling the refrigerator and pantry. Let me get a pencil and paper, and start my list. Hmmm……. interesting. The leftover meatloaf from last night, the okra, a few brown grapes, some cheese with green mold, my prune juice, and the glob of tofu are still here. Hey, look; I see that cheap bologna I bought last week. Maybe I can find some end pieces of bread, and make a sandwich. Darn, now where is that mustard.

November 26, 2011

The Dark Globe – The Question of God

by darkjade68

THE DARK GLOBE – EDITORIAL – TENTH EDITION

by DarkJade

The Question of God…

 

 

Let me start by saying this… I respect all humans rights to have specific beliefs, and/or belief systems. It’s called Free Will, and is something I subscribe to full heartedly.

That said, an interesting thing happened today… Prior to Thanksgiving, I posted a Post on my Main Blog The Written Word, called “The Dancing Turkey”.

Something I do around Holidays is throw up some Friendly Holiday Related Post, designed primarily to promote Fun, and Friendships here amongst our Writing Etc. Community of WordPress.

This morning I received a reply from a seemingly friendly fellow, I actually think he’s one of The Written Word Followers now that I think of it…

In this reply he refers to a Post he did, and places a link in the Comment. Which is fine, however I found myself in a bit of an awkward place.

For when I looked at the Blog Post, it seemed to have to do with God, and for me, that’s a very Personal Thing.

There are a few topics that people often steer a bit clear of in Social Situations in which all walks of life may be present.

Politics is one, and God the other. There might have been a third, but I can’t recall at the moment, lol.

My History with God is this… I was brought up without any particular Religion Present in our house… As far as I knew as a kid Atheism meant you were somewhere in the middle in regards to believing in a God. I later came to find out, that, that is not the case. Atheism means you don’t believe in a God, and for me, that’s completely different than being in the middle.

My Mom was brought up Catholic, and actually went to an all girls school for a bit, where the Teachers were Nuns… And my Grandma was Best Friends with one of my Mom’s Teachers, who I actually met as a child… She was a very nice woman, who kept candy in her pocket for just such an occasion.

My Mom’s relationship with “God” became rather rocky, when she wrote to the Pope to request an annulment from her first marriage, as she was only a teenager when she married him, and that was because they had, had a baby (my oldest sister), and he was hanging around some not so nice people.

When she was denied, I’d imagine that pretty much finished up her relationship with “God”.

My Dad, who I did not grow up with, became a Reborn Christian when I was a teenager, within his new marriage.

Now my Grandma didn’t preach to my brother and I when we were young about God, but she did take us to Mass at these big beautiful Catholic Churches, and I actually enjoyed it. It was particularly amusing when she’d take us to a Spanish Speaking Church, and we’d ask her what they were saying, and she replied “Oh, they all say the same thing” lol.

And when I lived with my Dad in 9th Grade, which was the only time I lived with him, he and I would go to Church on Sundays, while his New Wife, and my Step Brother stayed home. I actually enjoyed these times with my Dad, and the Minister was very nice, and told stories from real life, and referred to the Bible.

Although there was one time when he was absent, and a man (The Substitute Minister) in an all Light Blue Polyester Suit came in, and was Screaming, and Yelling about the Word of the Lord, followed by having people step forward to be healed by his touch… That was a bit much for me as a kid.

Perhaps it’s a bit Taboo for me to do a Post on the subject of God… But, receiving a Post Reply referring to God, opened my mind to an interesting situation, and so I thought it might be something worth Writing about.

Like I say, to me, God is a very Personal thing… Something that each of us needs to figure out on our own.

Thanks for Listening/Reading

DarkJade-

PICTURE CREDIT – Throne of Heaven

November 26, 2011

3 Midgets Of Varying Height Walk Into A Bar…..

by TAWilliams

and sit down to order their drinks.  The bartender approaches the tallest midget, “What’ll ya have?”

“I’ll have a vodka tonic.”

The bartender turns to the middle-sized midget. 

“I’ll have a rum and coke.”

The bartender then turns to the smallest midget.

“I’ll have a mojito.”

The tallest midget spins around on his bar stool and gives the smallest midget a questioning look.

“What? I enjoy the smooth and fruity taste of a mojito.”

The tallest midget pauses for a second than nods his head, “That is understandable, I no longer believe that is an odd choice.”

The middle-sized midget also nods his head in agreement, “Same here I understand your choice and no longer disagree with it.”

The midgets finish their drinks and head home.  The End.

Unsatisfying isn’t it?  I just finished a book that left me with that same feeling.  It had a premise that caught my attention & interesting characters that I wanted to follow, but I followed them for several miles & realized they weren’t really going anywhere.  When I finished the book I realized all that potential had been squandered and I had wasted a week’s worth of reading.

Now I’m not going to say what the book was because it is quite possible someone else might like it and I don’t want to turn anyone away.  Yet I think it just reiterates how hard it is to write a quality novel.  It’s not enough to have a great idea if you’re incapable of translating it from your mind onto paper.  Having great characters doesn’t do your story justice if they don’t have anything to do.  And just as importantly you have to know when to end your story and how to get to that ending at just the right time. 

There is a reason why only a handful of people who put pin to paper end up being successful writers.

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