Rule #3 Honestly Evaluate Yourself (25 Rules for Better Health)

by Patrick Dykie

     This rule is possibly the hardest of all the twenty-five rules. You must not only evaluate yourself physically, but more importantly you must take a look at your mental and emotional health. To simplify things, I will break this rule into two main categories. I will look at a physical evaluation as well as an evaluation of our mental and emotional health. Remember, the key to good physical health, weight control and emotional and mental health, is to understand ourselves, and our bodies. 

     Let’s start with a physical evaluation. This evaluation comes in two steps. First and most importantly is a physical examination by a doctor. Before you start any type of diet, exercise program, or lifestyle changes, you need to make sure that your body can take the additional strain. You also need to determine if you have any under-lying problems, which may effect your health plan. Even if you’re starting a weight lose program involving dieting, and an exercise regimen such as walking, you should be checked by a doctor. 

      It becomes more important as we get older to see a doctor before making changes in our lifestyle. As we age our bodies change. We start to lose muscle mass, our bones become less dense, our joints start to wear out, and even our skin becomes less elastic. This is just a natural part of life and growing old. It should be noted at this time, that if you are having any mental or emotional problems such as depression or anxiety, have your doctor refer you to a mental health professional. The journey to better health and a better life involves understanding if and when we need help. It’s important to remember rule #2, and realize that none of us are perfect, and there is no shame in seeking help if you need it.

    After the physical examination by a doctor, its time to make our own personal evaluation. If you go back to rule number one, you can read a story I wrote about diets. In it, I took a humorous look at weight loss, and talked about what I call “The Naked Diet.” It involves standing in front of a mirror, completely naked. It seems a little extreme, but take it from me; it’s a good way to really evaluate yourself. 

     If you read rule number two, you’ll see that perfection is unrealistic. We have to learn to accept what we see in the mirror. All of us have to take a good, hard, and honest look at ourselves. We need to see what we like about ourselves, what we want to change, and then move forward.  Whether we change how we look, or stay the same; at the end of the day who we are inside doesn’t change. Looking good is important, but who and what we are inside, and whether we like ourselves is what matters the most. If you want to improve your health and live a better life, this is an important concept to grasp.

     To help you with your own physical evaluation, let me review mine with you. Just to let you know; I didn’t give myself an excellent. My personal rating of myself was somewhere between poor, and average.  As scary as it may sound, the best  physical evaluation is, done in front of a full length mirror, alone, in a brightly lit room. Over the years I’ve looked at myself in mirrors. The problem is that I never really looked. We all do it. We jump out of the shower, dry ourselves off, and get dressed as fast as we can. Besides, most of the time the mirror’s are coated in steam, and its hard to see very much anyway. My first thoughts as I looked at my comfortable, and slightly worn body in front of that mirror were two things. The first was,

“Hey, this isn’t as bad  as I thought it would be. My second thought was,  “Well, it’s not very good either.”

       The good news was that I come from a family with pretty good genetics. Most of them live relatively healthy lives into their 80′s and 90′s. I had no obvious deformities or other physical problems. I was fairly tall at almost 6-1. I had some muscle mass from lifting weights. My skin was good and wrinkle free. Most of this was due to being self-conscious, and not getting out in the sun with my shirt off. The bad news was, I topped the scales at 254 pounds, with most of that around my stomach and lower back. I could see the beginning of not only a second chin, but a third and fourth as well.

     I was also cursed with a set of legs passed down from my grandfather to my father and then to me.  It’s a burden all the men in my family have had to deal with. Our legs resemble chicken legs. They’re long and thin, and out of proportion with the rest of our bodies. They are also extremely white. Whenever I wear a pair of shorts my wife always jokes about getting a pair of sunglasses so as not to damage her eyes. As I looked at myself in the mirror I also realized that not only did I not look  as good as I wanted to, but I didn’t feel very well. I hadn’t been eating right, my skin had an unhealthy color, I wasn’t sleeping very well, and I was always tired.

     As you evaluate yourself, be sure to not only look at the things you want to change, but at the things that you like about yourself. As I looked in the mirror I saw that I still had most of my hair. It was slightly thinner than it used to be, but that’s okay. I was starting to get a  few gray strands mixed in, but overall it was a healthy light brown. I still had all my teeth, and they were still fairly straight. People have always said that I have a nice smile. I noticed that I had small laugh lines at the corners of my eyes. I guess that’s a good thing. As I finished my physical evaluation I realized that mentally I was feeling pretty good. I had a lot of work to do, but I had a starting point.  Improving one’s health is a series of steps. This was only one small step, but an extremely important one.

     The second part of honestly evaluating yourself is to take a look at your mental and emotional health, or as it’s often called, “Your overall psychological well-being.” This includes the way we feel about ourselves, the quality of our relationships and our ability to manage our feelings and deal with difficulties. I can not stress enough how your physical health is affected by your emotional and mental health. This is often called the mind/body connection. Factors in our life such as stress can cause ulcers, high blood pressure and even weaken our immune system. As you evaluate yourself, remember that this is an evaluation only. It is an attempt to recognize things to help you move forward and attain better health.

Warning! As you begin to evaluate yourself, if you are depressed, feel a sense of hopelessness, are abusing drugs, or have thoughts of death or suicide-please stop, and immediately get professional help.  

     As part of this evaluation I want you to take a look at things in your life that may be effecting your mental and emotional health. Who we are both mentally and emotionally are of sum of our lifetime experiences. Past experiences such as childhood traumas, deaths of friends or family, illnesses, and substance abuse can all affect our mental and emotional health. Current things can also effect our health. These may include:

—-Being laid off from your job.

—-Death of a loved one.

—–Divorce or getting married.

—–Illness.

—–Money Problems.

—–Having a baby.

—–Starting a new career.

—–Going back to school.

—-Children going off to College/coming home after graduation.

     As you evaluate your mental and emotional health look for physical signs that your emotional health may be out of balance. They could include:

—–Chest pain.

—–Back pain.

—–Problems with your eye-sight.

—–Headaches.

—–Hair loss/sudden graying of your hair.

—–High blood pressure.

—–General aches and pains.

—–Insomnia.

—–Loss of appetite.

—–Constipation or diarrhea.

—–Irritability.

—–Sweating.

     Let me tell you about my own physical, mental and emotional health evaluation to give you an idea of what to look for. Remember again, that a personal evaluation isn’t always easy. It can often be painful. At the time I evaluated myself, I was in a job which was literally killing me. I was an estimator and salesman for a construction contractor. With the economy being bad; over the last few years, I was under intense pressure to find work. I was working seven days a week, but not getting much work. People at work with families to support were getting laid off. The rest of the employees were looking to me save to their jobs. I was putting too much pressure on myself and was feeling the effects both mentally and physically.

     My life was out of balance. I didn’t see or communicate very much with my wife, and our marriage was suffering. I wasn’t involved in my son’s life, and was missing out on him growing up. I had no friends to speak off. It was during this time that my father died of a heart attack. The sad thing is that in the year before his death, I had only seen him a few times. It seemed my whole life was spiralling out of control. All the pressure I was experiencing at work and in my personal life was also affecting my physical health. My weight was ballooning, my blood pressure was sky-rocketing, my hair was not only starting to go gray, but was starting to thin.

     As I evaluated myself, I realized that I had to make changes in my life. I not only was deteriorating mentally, emotionally and physically, but I was becoming  someone else. I didn’t like the person I saw in the mirror. I was becoming irritable, mean, distant, short-tempered, and bitter. It wasn’t a pretty picture. The good news is that I started to make changes, and my life and health are improving. As you’ll see in rule number six, it’s all about taking small steps. One of the keys to better health is an honest evaluation and recognition of where you are both physically, mentally and emotionally. This evaluation is that first step. Now its time to move forward.

25 Rules For Better Health

1. Don’t diet. Change your lifestyle. 

2. There is no such thing as perfection.

3. Honestly evaluate yourself.

4. Set realistic goals and expectations.

5. Believe in something.

6. Small Steps.

7. Getting over the hump (One of many).

8. Make the right choices.

9. Put away the scale (Save for special occasions).

10. Reach out to those around you.

11. Get a pet.

12. Walk before you run.

13. Build Muscle.

14. Push yourself, but know your limits.

15. Rest.

16. Relax.

17. Have balance in your life.

18. Know yourself (physically and emotionally).

20. Try to be a good person.

21. Boost your metabolism.

22. Don’t be afraid.

23. Realize that life is hard.

24. Laugh at yourself and the absurdity of the world around you.

25. Reach your potential.

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7 Responses to “Rule #3 Honestly Evaluate Yourself (25 Rules for Better Health)”

  1. I think I just realized how much my daughter’s 17th birthday has been bringing me down… It just makes me realize how close we are coming to major changes… Blondie will spread her wings and fly away, and even though I have six more to go, I’m just not ready for the first one to be gone. I had been doing so good on lifestyle changes for the past year, but the past week or two, not so great, and after considering “emotional health” I think I realize, my baby’s birthday has given me the blues!

  2. Thanks for stopping by Lifewithblondie. I was just over at your site, and I loved it. It was a great post, and had me thinking about my own family. The good news is that you have five boys, and some great memories ahead. I never had a girl, but I’ll bet is was a great experience raising her. I’m sure she has a very bright future ahead. Take care.

    • Thanks! I’m feeling a lot better now that I sat down and thought about all the birthdays and the truth behind my grumpiness was really just that I’m not ready to let go, so I have decided that since I do have one girl left, at the end of the 5 boys, when she gets to slumber party age I will just have to drag Blondie back home from wherever she is and make her paint toe nails with me! :)

  3. That sounds like a great idea. Good luck. P.S. That is unless your oldest daughter is so rich and famous that there isn’t cell phone service to her 100 foot yacht in the South Pacific.

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