The Dark Globe – Swordfish… In Review

by 'Ard Pete

The lack of work continues as does my viewings of random films, currently watching Notting Hill (shut up) as I write this as moments ago I watched one of my favourite films when I was a teenager, Swordfish. Hugh Jackman hot off of his release of X-Men stars in this action epic with Travolta, Berry and Cheadle. I watched the Guard again yesterday which also stars Cheadle, I never realised before how much of a good actor he actually is. He just has that calm way about him even when he’s kicking someone’s ass.

Story; An abandoned DEA project left $400 million sitting in a bank account somewhere doing nothing in the mid eighties, 15 years later the interest has grown that amount to $9.5 billion which I don’t need to tell you is a lot of prostitutes. A former covert agent Gabriel (Travolta) wants that money to help him rid the world of international terrorists and to send a message that if you attack America, then he’ll do something infinitely worse to you. To get that money he needs a hacker, with the number one hacker in the world brought in he’s quickly detained by the police which ultimately results in that hackers death.

So they need someone else, someone that was the worlds best hacker before he was caught and put in jail, enter Stanley Jobson played by Jackman, who lives in a trailer in Texas unable to leave by probation, who has lost his daughter due to a court order put in place by his ex-wife whose now married to a seedy porn director.

He’s eventually convinced to do one more job which involves creating a worm that’ll get Gabriel his money which then will get him enough money to get a lawyer good enough to get his daughter back, the start of the story starts off at the bank with Travolta seemingly having an innocent conversation with Cheadle about bad guys, films and happy endings, ending it with reality is a lot different to fiction standing up to reveal them inside a bank with a lot of hostages strapped to bombs.

One of the girls escapes causing her to blow up and resulting in a massive explosion. Jackman tries to stop them and puts his and his own daughters life at risk doing so. Does the bad guy live and escape to continue his war against terrorism or does he get killed by the hero resulting in a happy ending?



Stanley Jobson (Hugh Jackman) – It’s very difficult to imagine Jackman in any other role than Wolverine these days, this was his second film after the first X-Men, where he wasn’t quite given the Wolverine stigma yet, watching him get bullied by Travolta I was waiting for him to give off some wise crack and shank him with his claws but it never came… well of course it didn’t! I’m a pretty big fan of Jackman’s after seeing him in other films such as The Prestige and Van Helsing, he plays the hero well.

Gabriel Shear (John Travolta) – Definitely a film from when Travolta was relevant in Hollywood, it’s a shame to say but not so much anymore. He’s always done so well playing either the good guy or the villain whether it be Pulp Fiction, A Civil Action, Punisher, Face/Off~! and well, you know the rest. The man is a legend and hopefully he’ll return to form at some point and get himself in a big action flick once again.

Ginger Knowles (Halle Berry) – Halle Berry is simply put, a hot piece of ass. She’s reunited with Jackman in this film after starring together in X-Men, she was reportidly paid an extra half a million just flash her melons which I think was in preparation for Monsters Ball? Either way it was half a million worth spending. Everyone expects beautiful movie stars these days to be little white blonde girls but I’d take Berry over them any day.

Agent J.T. Roberts (Don Cheadle) – I’ve already sang Cheadle’s praises already, I’ve enjoyed him in the Ocean’s trilogy, The Family Man with Nic Cage, most recently Iron Man 2 and is set to star in Iron Man 3 next year. While he just plays a straight forward FBI agent in this film you know he’s capable of much more and he played the role in this film well.

Having watched this film for the first time since it was released you forget what other actors appear and even some you didn’t know at the time such as Vinnie Jones who stars in his second American film after Gone In Sixty Seconds, an English legend in his own right. I also spotted Carmen Argenziano from Stargate SG-1, Drea De Matteo and Willam Mapother probably best known (to me at least) as Ethan Rom in Lost.


Overall Rating; This film was rated quite low on Rotten Tomatoes, but whose what that website says? They’re mostly wrong in their assumption of films and obviously don’t get entertainment. I certainly found this film entertaining, I remember loving it 11 years ago when it was released, any film with Halle Berry boobs on show is definitely going to go over well with me. Travolta played the ever so methodical bad guy which is one of his specialties and Vince Jones shot a dude in the head. 8/10


14 Comments to “The Dark Globe – Swordfish… In Review”

  1. I’ll have to check this one out. I’ve heard of it, obviously, but I’ve never gotten around to seeing it!

  2. I want to hear about Notting Hill!

  3. I remember this was supposed to come out around 9/11. Somehow 9/11 screwed this movie over. Why couldn’t we get together in love of Halle Berry breasts? I watched this movie only to see her naked. It was on HBO and I was house sitting for someone. I made sure to clean up the mess.

  4. Never heard of it till now. I have seen movies with all four of these but only a few with Cheadle, though I too have noticed that ‘cool’ element with him. I’m going to get around seeing this hopefully soon.

  5. As long as you are immersing yourself into movies, my humble suggestions . . . Angel-A (B&W, French with subtitles), Snow Walker, Wizards, Traitor, District 9, Inkheart, Dark City, The Cooler, Howl’s Moving Castle, Claymore. The last two are anime.

    I gots more . . . let me know when you are done.

    • I’ve seen Inkheart, District 9 and Dark City before, not heard of the rest though I don’t like anime, maybe it’s because of my cousins obsession with it I just hate stupid Japanese cartoons. I will check out the others though!

      • Not a big fan of anime myself, but decided to see what all the fuss was about. The Claymore series was the first I watched . . . “Wow!” I thought, “I’ve been missing out!”.

        It turns out on my first try I hit on one of the better ones. Certainly the best one I’ve seen (I have Netflix, and many are streaming, so they are easy to check out – and dismiss). Howl’s Moving Castle won a number of awards, and both the story and characters held my attention, but that’s a movie.

        However, if you are only going to watch one or two, I would suggest . . . nah, watch them all.

        Skip the anime if you want, but I will say anime gave me a perspective on story telling that I think I can use.

        • Definitely need to check out Dark City and Inkheart again. Snow Walker, with Barry Pepper? I love that guy, that’s already downloading as are Traitor and The Cooler, thanks 😀

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