Movement Propels Destiny

by disperser

Movement Propels Destiny

By E. J. D’Alise (Disperser)
Copyright March 2013

Julie opens the door at the same time the door on the opposite side of the small recess, the door labeled “Men”, opens.  They both stop on their track, standing on the threshold, and holding their respective restroom doors open.  They stare at each other, each a mirror image of the other, in pose and expression.

Wow, she’s gorgeous!” Larry’s thought interferes with his ability to speak, and he just stands there.

Julie’s heartbeat kicks up a tick or two as she stares at the handsome young man staring back at her.  “Say something, you fool!”  Her thought motivates her to speak.

“Uh, hi . . .”  She mentally smacks her forehead.  “Smooth,” she thinks, “real smooth!

Trying to recover, she continues . . . “No. 1 or No. 2?”  Even as the words leave her mouth, she starts to blush.  ”OH MY GOD!!  WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!?”  Where had that come from?  

Larry, still intent on imagining their future children, answers automatically.  “No. 2, and then some!”  ”OH MY GOD!!”  His occupied mind hears the echo of the words a split second after he says them, and snaps him back to the present.  ”WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?”

Julie is surprised . . . maybe she should be shocked, but she’s unsure if that’s his sense of humor coming through.  Better play it safe . . . “Yeah, I know what you mean!  I feel like I just lost five pounds!”

They stand there, still looking at each other, not knowing how to proceed.  

The man who had been patiently standing there, waiting to get into the restroom, finally speaks.

“When you tell your children how you met, make it a less crappier place; maybe a pizza joint.”

Julie and Larry both turn to him, and he looks at each of them in turn.  Finally it hits them.  All three break out in loud and uncontrollable laughter.  

After thirty seconds of so, finally composed, Larry steps aside, letting the man pass.  Then he and Julie decide to go grab a coffee at the shop nearby.  

Thirty five years later, holding their grand-daughter’s hands, they would point to the coffee shop explaining to her that’s where they met.  But both also would glance at the restroom alcove, then at each other, and crack a smile.

The End

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This is a slightly different version to what appeared on my blog.   I mean, the story is exactly the same, but I fixed the mixed tenses so that it’s all in present tense (hopefully I did not miss anything).

So, here is the thing . . . on my blog, this got a fair number of reads and reader reactions.  For me it was a throw-away flash piece that, while I enjoyed writing, did not think much about.

I certainly did not think of it as anything special.  Which then begs the question.  What exactly is the appeal of this story?  Sure, it’s romance, and everyone is a sucker for that.  But, there are other . . . uhmm . . . aspects to it, and I wondered what influence they had.  

I am curious, so  here’s the final poll of the day (at least from me).

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11 Responses to “Movement Propels Destiny”

  1. It’s real. I find most romance stories sappy and predictable. This one wasn’t. The writing was tight and the setting and dialog were certainly not predictable! That’s what made it a great read for me.

  2. The poll doesn’t cover it again. This was toilet humour. And romance thrown in. Great combo.

    • Toilet humor (or humour)! I should have remembered the classification.

      I was trying to come up with the proper name for the poll, and ended up using “bathroom stories”.

      They say you can edit polls, but it’s been my experience the edits don’t take. But, since the poll is included more as an attempt at humor than a serious survey, I’ll just let it stand as is.

      Thanks.

  3. I didn’t do the poll because there was no place to check : “It made me laugh.”

    The “No. 2, and some” surprised me with a laugh. Up to that point, I was thinking of the awkward moment and would have never imagined Larry’s comment. After that, I was hooked and compelled to finish the story.

    • I’ll have to remember the option “other”, so people can input their own answers.

      Thanks for the comment; always nice to read someone enjoyed something I wrote.

  4. Lol, the romance is the key element for me, but the kind of awkward, honest, silly first meeting and their conversation makes it even more awesome. 🙂 This was fun to read.

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