Pirates vs. Ninjas

by disperser

Pirates vs. Ninjas

By E. J. D’Alise (Disperser)
Copyright December 2007, March 2013

The following is from the recovered records of The Shark, feared pirate ship of the Pacific.

“Get the captain!”

 The words of the First Mate startled the slumbering pirate.  He looked about, jumped up, and with a hasty “Ay-yai,” he lumbered toward the Captain’s quarters.  At the door, the pirate hesitated.  No one liked dealing with the Captain, and he was no exception.  A couple of slow breaths, then one big one, and he knocked.

“Come,” came the muffled reply.

The pirate hesitated, and then opened the door.  In the room, a single candle was waging a valiant, but losing battle with the darkness.  He could just make out the Captain standing by the big window framing the back of the ship.  He gingerly closed the door and turned, his eyes adjusting to the low light.

“The First Mate . . . ” he did not get to finish.

“I see her.”  The Captain’s voice wavered, but continued; “It’s a Ninja ship.  Wake the boys, man the guns, and break out the close-quarter weapons.”

“Ay-yai!”  The pirate turned to leave, but the Captain spoke again.

“She’s flying the Rino flag.  Those are the most vicious, deadly, and ruthless killers.  If they get on-board, we’ll not survive.  The only chance we have is to fight in groups.”  The Captain turned, facing the pirate who took an involuntary step back.

“One thing; tell everyone not to shoot right at them; those little suckers watch your trigger finger, and dodge one way or the other when you shoot.  As they pull the trigger, have the men shift their aim slightly left or right.  They’ll have a fifty-fifty chance of hitting them.”

The captain advanced toward the pirate, who would have retreated another step had his back not been against the door.  The Captain continued, looking straight into the pirate’s eyes.

“They are quick.  If you let them get close, the last thing you’ll see is the flash of their blade, and then your own body standing there as your head rolls on the deck!”

The Captain held the man’s gaze, then abruptly turned and went back to the window.  The candle chose that moment to give up its battle, and darkness engulfed the room.  The pirate stood a few moments, then turned and fumbled for the door latch.

Once outside, he slowly let his foul breath out.  “Don’t know them, but I’d rather face them Ninjas than the Captain any day!”   He hurried off to deliver the Captain’s instructions.

The pirate ship was a flurry of activity.  Lanterns were lighted to rob the Ninjas of the shadows they loved so much.  Barrel tops and bottoms were fashioned into crude shields against the annoying pointed stars Ninjas liked to throw, and the cannon were made ready.  All the while the black Ninja ship closed in.

“Hard to port!!” Yelled the first mate. “Drop sails and man the guns!”

The big ship turned broadside to the advancing Ninja ship.  Its decreasing speed helped steady the ship, and the gunners took aim.  Years of practice let them compensate for the speed differential and rocking of the deck.  One after another the cannons roared, each immediately being reloaded and readied for another shot.

A cheer went up from the crew, as the incendiary shots, shrapnel and cannon balls literally began to shred the advancing Ninja ship.  Relentlessly, the barrage continued, as shot after shot rained down on the crippled and sinking Ninja ship.

“Look!!” a pirate yelled, arm outstretched, pointing at the bow of the Ninja ship. Some twenty dark figures could be seen jumping into the waters . . . and then running on the crest of the waves.

“That can’t be!” yelled one of the now terrified pirates! “They’re running on water!!”

“Man your muskets and pistols!” yelled the first mate, “Don’t let them reach the ship, or we are lost!!”

Fear drove the pirates to the sides, shooting at the advancing, zigzagging dark figures seemingly gliding atop the waves.  Fear is what caused most to miss with both their first and second volleys.  A few stouthearted pirates heeded the advice of the captain, randomly shifting their guns as they shot.  Still four Ninjas reached the ship, and as one, vaulted over the heads of the pirates to land silently in the middle of the ship’s deck.  Two landed dead, having been shot by the two pirates who were avid duck hunters, and used to shooting birds on the wing.

That left two Ninjas, and thirty pirates.  The pirates stared at the black clad ninjas.  The only thing they could see clearly was each Ninja’s eyes, and the small pink heart-shaped emblem on their chest . . . the Rino emblem.

With a roar, the pirates all attacked at once.  They had been told of entire crews being slaughtered as they stupidly attacked Ninjas one at the time.  The ninjas both leapt, but a pirate grabbed a booth of one of the Nijas, and pulled him down.   A blur of a short blade, and he was the first of the thirty pirates to die.

The battle was swift and ferocious, but at the end, a lone Ninja stood among the bodies of thirty pirates, and that of his comrade.  His eyes caught a slight movement.  There, from one of the partially open doors; a small movement, and a sharp intake of breath.   In a blur of motion, he was at the door, kicking it as he flew through the opening.

Rolling to a standing fighting stance, he saw a young girl, barely a teen, staring at him with big eyes as she cowered in the corner.  Her dress was torn, and she clutched at the fabric as if for protection.  The ninja looked about.  His keen hearing and training told him no one else was in the room.  He slowly advanced to the girl, senses tuned for any danger.

The girl drew a breath, and made herself smaller against the wall.  The Ninja stopped a few feet away.  His eyes took in the sight of her cowering.  Still silent, he extended a hand.  The girl hesitated, and then slowly put out her hand.  The Ninja reached for her hand, and as they grasped each other, he braced to pull the girl upright.  She came right up, as if she had no weight at all . . . and kept coming, her body right up to the Ninja’s own dark shape.  His eyes focused on hers, now mere inches away, and then slowly closed as he slumped silently onto the floor, the handle of a stiletto knife protruding from under his chin.

Captain Nicky, the dreaded teen-pirate of the Pacific, turned and walked out onto to the deck of her ship. “Damn Ninjas!” She swore, looking at the carnage. “Third time this year! . . . I’m going to need a new crew.”


Upon posting the story, I was immediately informed of various historical fallacies with regards to Ninja tactics.  I claim artistic license, and point to numerous movies from which I drew inspiration.  Plus, I think this story qualifies as having a fantasy element.


7 Responses to “Pirates vs. Ninjas”

  1. Awe, man! You mean they really didnt run on water in real life? Or fight pirates? My life is ruined

    • There is quite the history (real history) with ninjas . . . could be they did, so perhaps you can salvage some remnant of your life.

      • Doubtful. What is the point of going on if I can’t count on you for accurate depictions of ninja tactics in your stories?

        • You are right . . . but, for the record, the objections to the story were not with the depiction of individual ninja actions, but rather the nature of their naval engagements. It seems they possessed long range cannons, and in fact preferred sneakier (them ninjas!) methods of attack, including floating mines and attaching explosives to the hulls of enemy ships under the cover of darkness.

          . . . so, they might in fact have run to the enemy ships . . . or likely walked, given they would be carrying explosives.

  2. Lovely! That is one of the most scary and deadly pirates I have ever encountered! Expensive on pirate crews, though.


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