Who is this “Lorna Person” anyway?

by Lorna's Voice
As if I didn't have enough to worry about with the melting ice caps... Now this Lorna Person is showing up on a nice writerly blog like Legends Undying. What's next? Lady Gaga wants to wear me...alive?

As if I didn’t have enough to worry about with the melting ice caps… Now this Lorna Person is showing up on a nice writerly blog like Legends Undying. What’s next? Lady Gaga wants to wear me…alive?

For months weeks since this morning you may have wondered why the heck my random circumsillyspect posts bombard your inbox.

I mean, this is The Dark Jade’s respectabubble Legends Undying–a fantasy writers’ blog or a blog for writers with fantasies about writing (I’m not clear on which one; it could be for both). And here I am, spewing nonsense as if it were actual sense. What gives?

Maybe you haven’t been wondering, in which case, keep reading. You’re here anyway.

I suppose this is more interesting than batting at my tail. At least for now.

I suppose this is more interesting than batting at my tail. At least for now.

First of all, I am one of Legend Undying’s Contributing Writers. But only on Sunday.

I see myself as the “comic relief” section of the Sunday paper, if this blog was a newspaper (which it’s not) and I was a comic (which I kind of am, compared to some of the serious writing that goes down around here). That’s why my posts are random and daffypants. They’re supposed to be.

I could write about dragons or magic forests or totally made up people doing totally made up things…oh, who am I kidding? No I couldn’t. It would be a work of supercrapology. And there’s enough of that genre out there already.

You can blame me on DJ. He asked me to join the gang way back, when he started a blog called the Daily Planet. No, wait. That’s not it. The Dark Globe. Yes, that sounds right. It was so long ago and my memory just isn’t what it ever was.

Well, someone has to keep the info flowing...

Well, someone has to keep the info flowing…

Somehow we found each other in this crazy mixed up bloggity blog world. We clicked. Or maybe I won a contest he ran and won Best Blogger of the Universe (or something like that). Anyway, he asked me to judge some writing and photography contests. I said yes. That really made him like me. Then he asked me to join as a writer. I’m not sure if he regrets that decision, but I said yes again and he’s stuck now.

Kinda stuck with me, DJ.

Kinda stuck with me, DJ.

But DJ is a smart guy. He knows what kinds of writers are on the team. He wants you to know, too. So if you haven’t deduced the type of blogger/person I am, let me bulletize myself for you:

*Believe it of not, I am an author. I have one published book–a memoir–and am working on a novel based on a true story.

*My blog began a about 2 and a half years ago as a way to pilot-test stories for my memoir, but I had no idea what I was doing. I posted about my humble beginning. You’ll learn a lot about what a blog dolt I was.

*I’m almost 56, don’t swear, and have a very innocent, optimistic outlook on people and life in general.

*I’m a Buddhist.

* I find humor healing and helpful when trying to practice both the Buddhist principles and that optimism I referenced above.

*Chronic health issues lay me low often and unexpectedly. I write and keep up my sense of humor and to maintain my charming personality and disarmingly good-looks.

Not bad for almost 56, huh?

Not bad for almost 56, huh?

*When I refer to myself as a “dizzy blonde” I really am dizzy and a natural blonde. One of my chronic health problems neurological–causing a constant sense of spinning in my head. This is not as fun as it sounds.

*I have a Ph.D. in sociology, so my posts tend to be long (have you ever met a pithy sociologist?).

When I started lecturing, I was clean-shaven.

When I started lecturing, I was clean-shaven.

*I used to be a college professor, so I often post things that aren’t just zany, but have a little something of educational value. (Probably not this one.)

*My trademark is using thermozany pictures and captions in my posts. I nab most pictures from Google Images and have fun coming up with silly captions. Consider it my artistic expression since I’m I lousy photographer and can’t draw.

Call be zany, but I think this is a funny picture. Imagine an ad for a vacuum cleaner like this  today...or is it an ad for the first electric baby harness? Hard to tell.

Call me zany, but I think this is a funny picture. What product is being sold: a vacuum cleaner, a diaper dispenser, or the first electric baby harness? Hard to tell.

So now you know why my odd little posts enter your in-boxes most Sundays. Send all complaints to DJ. Send all praise to lornasvoice.com.

Happy Sunday!

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8 Comments to “Who is this “Lorna Person” anyway?”

  1. Cor, The Best Blogger of the Universe. I am humbled by your greatnissitude.

  2. I always look forward to your awesome posts Lorna! Thank you for sharing. 😀

  3. Thanks, Paige. DJ really did ask me to “introduce myself” for the new readers to this blog. Of course, I had to do it my uniquely “Lorna” way… 😉

  4. I would not have figured you for a Bud girl. I always associate Budweiser with car racing, baseball games, and . . . what?

    Oh . . . Buddhist . . . sorry; read that too quick. Nevermind.

    Enjoyed the read, as usual.

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