Do you have those in a smaller size?

by disperser

The writing prompt:

“Your writing prompt for today is to find an ancient god, one that is familiar to you and sticks out and the pinnacle of whatever they are a god of. Then, after you have your choice in mind, write a story using that god as the archetype for your character but with the opposite gender of the ancient god.”

Do you have those in a smaller size?

By E. J. D’Alise (Disperser)
Copyright June 2013

“I have to do what?” She asked.

“You have to escort souls to the afterlife, and carry messages from the rest of the gods.”

“But, I’m a god too.  Why do I have to carry messages?  Don’t we have people for that?”  Irate, she looked over the choices offered her.  “And, really?  Winged sandals?  Those are going to make my calves look huge!”

*Sigh* Everyone is pitching in; would you rather handle commerce?”  The dispatcher was used to petulant gods, and this one was no different.  “As for people, they’re the problem.  With fewer and fewer believers, gods are winking out left and right.  As our ranks thin, we each have to do more.”

“Wait, if people don’t believe in us, we leave?”  She was holding the sandals at arm’s length, trying to envision how they would look on her.  

She continued without waiting for an answer. “Perhaps if I laced them up the calves to the knee, and shorten my chiton a bit . . . might need to get an undergarment if I do that, but I probably should anyway, since I’ll be flying over people’s heads . . . Oh Zeus! . . . They’ll see my ass!”

The dispatcher rolled his eyes . . . “Yes, we can only manifest through people’s minds.  As for lacing, Apollo’s already doing that, so if you don’t mind looking like you’re trying to copy her, I suppose it’s OK.  And don’t worry about undergarments; since Seshat came out with the i-Scrolls, everyone has got their noses in those things, reading the latest about Leda and some swan she slept with; no one is going to notice your rump.”

“Oh, alright.” Resigned, Hermes pointed at a pair of sandals, and asked: “Do you have those in a smaller size?”

The End

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That is what is called a “lightweight” piece.  Humor is difficult to write, and I never know if me writing humor comes off as just strange offerings from a demented person.  

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