One of the things that I believe in, and live my life by is the importance of, and the power of the choices we make. Every day of our lives are spent making dozens, or even hundreds of choices. Some of our choices may be big and some may be so small and seemingly insignificant that we don’t even notice them. I’ve learned over the years that many times, the smallest choices we make are as important as the big ones.
If you were forced to walk out of your house right now…
With nothing but the clothes on your back…
What would you carry?
What would leave behind?
Would you carry your trusted phone, laptop, wallet…what?
Circumstances Beyond Your Control
A dear friend of mine from Sudan, found himself in a very helpless situation some years back. He was running for his life. He was alone. His country was at war. He was caught right in the midst. It was the darkest time of his life, but he tells me that he could not have had his life any other way.
So I’ve been contemplating as I often do, this time about what to write. As life has gone on I have been hardpressed to find inspiration to write lately, and I don’t know if it’s because of settling into married life, or the routine of my days that gain no excitement but stay the same, or if it’s because I fell into blogger slump again which happens from time to time.
Then I found reason for words again. This time in the form of choices. The choices we make that pave our future, whether they are career choices or lifestyle choices. Choices in friends or foes, choices in theology and religion. Choices that change who we are, and choices that solidify who we’ve been.
We all make choices, every day, and on occasion, we make big choices. This week, I decided I didn’t want children for a very long time. More like, this past couple of months, I’ve really though about parenting, and my psychological and emotional health as well as my physical and realized that I am not sure where children fit into my life, at this point, or ever. I love children, in fact I am a huge advocate for children and especially those in a neglected and abusive enviornment, but in my own personal space, I don’t know that I have the capability to be a good parent, or a stable person for a child to rely on. I think everyone is constantly growing and learning, but I know that if I doubt myself now, then maybe it’s not a good idea to risk having a child by chance. So this week I got a form of birth control that will let me remain childless for approximately 12 years. Who knows if I will wait that long, who knows if I’ll wait even longer, but as it stands now, the choice of bringing another life into this world is too frightening and demanding for me to be able to take that chance.
This whole process made me think about my friends who have children already and are younger than myself, wondering how they have the strength to be parents, wondering if I’ll ever have that. My mother, by the time she was my age, (25) already had 4 children, one deceased. I still feel so young and inexperienced, but then I realize I’m the late bloomer of my friends, aquaintances and family. Most of my family had married young and had children young, most of my friends from high school are married and have children, I just married this past september. That was even a surprise, something I thought may never happen in my life. I presume children will be a part of my life someday, and it will be awe inspiring at that time, but for now… I will live my selfish life with my husband, sharing and enjoying the time we have together without little mini-us’s running around assuredly reeking havoc on the world.
So today’s post was about choices, and a big one in my own life, now I want to hear your choices, ones that have impacted your lives and your perceptions.